


Tag Team

by DontKillBugs



Series: Weblena Week Prompts! [20]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: F/F, Home Invasion, Weblena Week 2020, eldritch lena, home alone shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontKillBugs/pseuds/DontKillBugs
Summary: Late one night, a platoon of Beagle Boys attempt a sneak burglary on McDuck Manor. The defense they face: two children.They never stood a chance.Weblena Week 2020, Day 1: Guardian(s)
Relationships: Lena (Disney: DuckTales)/Webby Vanderquack
Series: Weblena Week Prompts! [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1162784
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	Tag Team

**_Killmotor Hill_ **

**_2:55 a.m._ **

****

The hydraulics on the garbage truck hissed as it came to a stop in front of the gates to McDuck Manor. The street was otherwise silent and deserted this time of night.

In the passenger seat, Brainiac Beagle adjusted his spectacles, glaring out the window up at the enormous house on the hill.

At his side, in the driver’s seat, Bouncer gave a rumbling sigh. “You sure we can’t just attach the winch to the gate and yank it down, Brainiac?”

Brainiac gave his brother a sharp swat on the bicep. “ _Yes,_ you Neanderthal, I’m sure. How many times am I supposed to tell you, this is a _stealth mission._ Tonight, we act as _sneak thieves.”_

Rubbing his arm, Bouncer responded. “Yeah, but we _always_ use the winch to break in. I _like_ using the winch.”

Brainiac leveled a scathing glare at Bouncer. “ _My_ burglary, _my_ rules. Do you want me to get Ma on the phone?”

“No…” Bouncer sulked, his shoulders slumping.

“Then we do this _my_ way! Don’t forget…” Brainiac reached over and flicked Bouncer between the eyes. “ _I’m_ the smart one, _you’re_ the potato-brained one. Now come on.”

Brainiac thrust the passenger door open, sauntering around to the back of the garbage truck as Bouncer pulled the lever inside the cab. Brainiac mumbled irritatedly to himself, rubbing two fingers along his ratty goatee. “Potato-brain… what was I thinking. Potatoes are actually useful for something…”

The back of the garbage truck slid open silently on well-greased pivots, revealing the other seven Beagle Boys huddled in the back, armed with an assortment of bolt cutters, wire cutters, lockpicks, and various blunt objects. There had been eight in the back, but Brainiac had ordered them to stop on the way so Bouncer could forcibly cram Bigtime into the luggage compartment of a bus bound for Saint Canard.

Brainiac surveyed his so-called team with a disappointed eye. “Now listen up. I’m gonna go over this one more time. Ma let me plan this one, so you nimrods all answer to me. We’re gonna go in there _silently._ I don’t want to hear any noises louder than a whisper other than those bolt cutters being used. We sneak in, grab as much valuable-lookin’ stuff as we can, and we sneak out. I want us in and out in 30 minutes.”

He glared at those armed with wrenches and crowbars. “No disturbing the inhabitants of the house unless absolutely necessary to get out. Try not to hurt anyone, but if someone does get hurt, I’ll understand. That said, if one of you peabrains puts us in a dangerous situation here, _I_ will put you in _another_ dangerous situation when we get home. Understood?”

“ _Yes, Brainiac.”_ His brothers chorused drudgingly. Seated in front, Burger Beagle nodded his head rapidfire with a sound like rattling marbles. “ _Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.”_

Brainiac rolled his eyes. “Savage.” He pointed a finger at the gate. “Now let’s move!”

The nine Beagle Boys crowded around the gate. Brainiac quickly and quietly attached a small handheld device to the keypad. Stuck to the side was a label:

**Prototype: Beaks Opener Zapper, Oooooooo-wow! (B.O.Z.O.)**

He quickly pressed a quick sequence of buttons, and hit enter on both the keypad and the device simultaneously. The gate’s keypad made a sound like a doorbell with a dying battery, before the gate’s locks clicked open, swinging outward.

Brainiac grinned devilishly. “I’m in.” The platoon of burglars began to quietly stride uphill, in V-Formation.

Tucked in a nearby tree, a piece of paper with an ancient rune scrawled on it flashed a dark purple as they passed it, before crumpling in on itself with a flame that vanishing as quickly as it appeared. The group passed it, none the wiser.

On the opposite side of the driveway, a Quacky Patch doll had been speared to a tree with a crossbow bolt. Brainiac rolled his eyes as they passed it, giving it no further thought. Behind him, the Nanny Cam hidden in the doll’s head focused in on his face as it sent an electronic signal to a certain phone.

At the top of the driveway, McDuck Manor loomed before the Beagle Boys, like a giant piggybank just waiting to be cracked open. Brainiac thumbed another button on the BOZO, pointing it at the front door. Just inside, the security system clicked Off.

Brainiac grinned. “Thank ya kindly, Mr. Beaks. You’ve made my night.”

The front door to McDuck Manor was eased open quietly, and the platoon of Beagle Boys strode into the massive entry hall. Brainiac whispered: “ _Remember! No noise, at all! Regroup here in thirty minutes with anything valuable, then we head out! Anyone who falls behind is left behind!”_

He pointed to the two downstairs hallways flanking the main stairs. “ _Half of you take the left, the other half take the right. Finish down here in 15 minutes, then join me upstairs. Move out.”_

Not bothering to look at his idiot brothers for confirmation, Brainiac took several long strides toward the stairs, walking heel-to-toe to reduce noise.

The remaining Beagle Boys glanced at each other, shrugged, and split into two groups, not bothering to mask the sound of their footsteps.

Brainiac rolled his eyes. “ _Imbeciles.”_ Reaching the top of the stairs, he picked a door, and slipped through it.

The entry hall was silent now, dark, unlit. Deep shadows filled every corner, illuminated only by the distant streetlamps outside.

A particularly black shadow detached itself from the ceiling corner, slithering swiftly down the wall, collecting on the floor.

Two sets of eyes glowed within the shadowy mass. One set purple, one set green.

~/~/~

**_The East Wing_ **

****

The floor thumped under Bouncer’s enormous shoes as he glanced around. Nothing immediately leapt out as valuable to him. No gold, no jewels. He frowned. Weren’t gazillionaires supposed to have cash and gold spilling out the wazoo?

Something rustled behind him as he lifted a painting aside, checking for a wall safe.

There was none.

Bouncer whispered loudly. “Ballyhoo, you seen anything yet?”

There was only silence.

“Ballyhoo?”

Bouncer turned, slowly surveying the hall.

Ballyhoo Beagle had disappeared from behind him.

“Ballyhoo? Come on, where you at? We ain’t got time fer your shenanigans!”

Ballyhoo was nowhere to be seen. A sense of unease began to permeate in Bouncer’s chest. He picked up the pace, following the hall quickly.

He rounded the corner into a living room. At the other end, the decidedly non-muscular Beefeater and Bacchus Beagle were attempting to lift a truly massive analog TV, with little success.

Still in a whisper, Bouncer called quietly to them. “Hey, you boys seen Ballyhoo?”

Bacchus turned his head, his mouth opening to give an answer.

A crossbow bolt with a pink boxing glove on the end of it whistled through the air past Bouncer’s ear, socking Bacchus in the face with an audible _THWACK!_

Bouncer spun around as Bacchus fell to the floor, out cold. The hall was dark, darker than it should have been. Bouncer couldn’t see anything beyond a few feet.

Behind him, Beefeater was standing over Bacchus, poking him with his foot, a half-hearted attempt to wake him. Beefeater became dimly aware of a strange whirring sound, just before a set of six ninja stars pinned his clothes to the wall behind him, narrowly avoiding his skin by inches.

Beefeater barely had time to react before a shape blurred past his vision, and a double-bladed axe impacted deeply into the wall just above his head. As the two halves of his cap fell neatly on each side of him, he had just enough time to see a pair of glowing green eyes right above the business end of a baseball bat zooming toward him, before his vision was filled with colorful stars, followed by the blackness of unconsciousness.

In the time it took Bouncer to turn back around, drawn by the sounds, the small shape darted upward, vanishing amongst the ceiling beams. Bouncer stood in the doorway, frozen in horror at how quickly both of his brothers had been dispatched.

Somewhere on the other side of the mansion, someone began to scream, long drawn-out screeches of fright.

_To heck with this. I don’t care enough about Brainiac to get massacred by ninjas for ‘em._

Bouncer charged back down the dark hallway, all pretense of stealth gone as his heavy boots thundered against the floor beneath him.

His foot snagged against something soft yet firm, and Bouncer fell like a mighty empire to the floor. Panicking now, he kicked blindly at whatever he had tripped on, getting several sturdy kicks in before his vision adjusted to the darkness.

Ballyhoo Beagle lay on the floor, quite thoroughly hogtied, his cap stuffed in his mouth, moaning in pain from Bouncer’s weighty kicks.

There was a rattle of a heavy chain in the direction Bouncer had just fled from. Bouncer, trembling, squinted down the hallway, trying to see what was there.

In an instant, a heavy metal spiked ball came rocketing down the hall on a chain that had to be several feet long. The flail impacted Bouncer’s face like a meteor as the sweet, kindly embrace of unconsciousness took him, and he knew no more.

~/~/~

**_Meanwhile_ **

**_The West Wing_ **

****

Burger Beagle slid open yet another kitchen drawer, unsure of what he was looking for beyond money or jewels. The fine nuances of financial value were beyond him.

Behind him, Baritone Beagle eased his way through the kitchen door from the dining room. “ _Haff yew found anything yet?!!?”_ Baritone wheezed in a breathless, falsetto squeak.

Burger flashed him a wink. “ _Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!”_

_“…See, Burger, I still dunno if you’re actually saying Yeah, or if that’s just your adorable speech impoodamoot.”_

A loud _CRACK_ , like a bowling ball splitting in half, came from the dining room behind Baritone. It was immediately followed by a _WUMPH_ , like a pillow exploding.

Burger and Baritone shared a flinch and an uneasy glance, before quickly hustling back into the dining room. They stopped in the doorway, caught off-guard by the spectacle before them.

On the left of the table, Bolster Beagle slowly stumbled around in a circle, his eyes concealed behind a yellow glow, a big, dumb grin on his face. “Well, thank you, Ma!” He babbled. “I’ll gladly accept the renowned title of Your Favorite Son over Brainiac! And what? You’re writing him outta the will and writing me in? Aw, Ma, you shouldn’t have!”

On the right of the table, Bogus Beagle was completely gone from where Baritone had left him. Bizarrely, his clothes lay on the floor in a crumpled pile, as if he had stripped down nude and gone for a cheerful round of streaking through McDuck Manor.

Burger quickly stepped over to Bolster, slapping him rapidfire back-and-forth across the face. “Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!”

Bolster’s head lolled backward, still grinning like a moron. “Cookies, for me? Why sure, Ma, back up the truck…”

On the other side of the table, Baritone stood, staring down at the pile of clothes with a look of dim horror on his face. “Sweet Dog in Heaven, Burger. They left his heart.”

Leaving Bolster to his fantasies, Burger stepped toward the table, peering over it at Bogus’s discarded clothes.

Inside his crumpled shirt, a fist-sized lump was slowly pulsing away, the fabric rising and falling with it.

Before Burger could give an extremely intelligent insight as to what may have happened, the lump began to slowly move, creeping toward the edge of the shirt as it swelled and subsided. Baritone’s eyes widened in fear, his mouth falling open.

Out of the shirt, a small horned toad crawled out, a tiny black thieves mask around its beady eyes.

Baritone began to _shriek_ in horror, backing away as if the toad were about to leap for his neck. Burger was about to rush around the table and shove his hand over Baritone’s mouth, when a purple circle suddenly appeared in the floor just below Baritone’s feet.

Baritone’s screams of terror turned into a _Whoop_ of surprise as he slid through the purple portal, the thundering stench of sewage filling his nose as he vanished from McDuck Manor, appearing just as suddenly in a very dark sewer tunnel beneath Duckburg’s Theatre District.

The portal closed, and Burger was left alone in the Manor’s dining room with one brother out of his wits, and the other one transmogrificated into a toad.

He began to slowly edge toward the dark, shadowy doorway. “ _Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope…”_

In the darkness, far down the hallway, two glowing purple eyes opened, staring directly at Burger. Burger could feel his heart almost stop in fear.

A very, very wide smile with far, far too many teeth spread in the darkness below the glowing eyes.

Burger shook his head rapidly, his heart pounding in his chest. “ _Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope.”_

The hideous face nodded just as rapidly, still smiling that horrible rictus. “ **Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.”**

Quick as a hiccup, a dozen long black tendrils shot out of the shadows around the face, ensaring Burger around every limb, before yanking him forward into the darkness without even time to scream.

~/~/~

Brainiac was fuming.

He had barely been upstairs for ten minutes before he heard Baritone’s unmistakable high screeching coming from downstairs. Brainiac had frozen in the hallway, hand on a doorknob, eyes flickering around, until the screams suddenly stopped. He stayed still for several more seconds, but no alarms were sounded, no sudden rush of stampeding webbed feet.

Brainiac stormed back toward the entrance hall as quickly and loudly as he dared. “Can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but that dunderhead had _better_ have been surprised by someone before dealing with them. If he screamed ‘cause he saw a cock-a-roach or something, I swear to Dog…”

He slid open the doors to the balcony over the main hall-

And stopped where he was, the anger fleeing his snobbish face.

_What._

Dangling from the chandelier, suspended several feet above the floor, Bouncer hung from a rope by his ankles, out cold. His arms dangled limply below him. Ballyhoo, Beefeater, and Bacchus were all tied to his barrel-chest, all similarly unconscious.

On the floor below, Burger was curled in the fetal position, trembling, muttering a constant stream of “ _Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-“_

Bolster, his eyes glowing a solid yellow, giggled drunkenly as he staggered in a circle around Burger, chasing a horned toad that was barely able to hop out of reach.

As Brainiac stood on the balcony, blinking uncomprehendingly, a small purple circle opened in the air. Baritone spilled out of it, along with several gallons of foul, reeking water. Baritone wavered on his feet for several seconds, before fainting dead away, falling flat on his face.

Brainiac stared down at the lot of them. “I was _gone._ For _six minutes.”_

On Brainiac’s right: the almost-imperceptible sound of two feet landing in a crouch on the carpeted stairs.

His eyes wide, Brainiac glanced to the right.

The silhouette of a small form, crouched on the carpet, eyes glowing a bright, unnatural neon green. In its hands, a crossbow and a long dagger.

_No backup. Stairs are blocked. If I leap the bannister, I’ll shatter my brittle ankles. Only one thing to do._

Brainiac spun around and bolted back through the door and down the hallway, all pretense of stealth now dropped, solely in the pursuit of survival.

There was no sound of pursuit from behind him. Still, he didn’t dare turn around to see.

He stumbled around the corner, panting as he reached the door he had stopped at previously. With no better ideas, he flung it open.

A small library. Bookshelves lined the walls. A large corkboard hung over one wall.

And spread out on the floor, a collection of sleeping bags.

Eight total. Two of them empty. The rest, stuffed with the sleeping forms of dozing children, chests rising and falling softly.

_Perfect. Grab one of the brats and use them as a hostage until I get out._

Grinning as the plan took form, Brainiac flung himself forward, fingers grasping for the curly black hair of a hummingbird, asleep with her back to him-

**“No.”**

Suddenly, the sleeping hummingbird vanished as a sheet of solid black flickered across his vision. In the time it took Brainiac to blink, the entire room had vanished, wrapped in shadow.

**“You do not touch them.”**

Brainiac was breathing heavily as he whipped his head around, trying to find something, anything, in the inky blackness.

“Who’s there?”

He fumbled clumsily in his pocket, fishing out a small pocket flashlight, clicking the button on the side. The bulb didn’t even flicker.

He swatted the side with his free hand, as if that would make the flashlight suddenly turn on. “Who’s there?!!?”

“ **The Monster under your Bed, Beagle Boy.”** The voice came from just below him. He quickly looked downward, and froze in place.

Two glowing purple eyes glared up at him.

A mouth, so impossibly long and full of so many sharp, impossible teeth, began to smile open in the floor around his feet.

 **“The Boogeyman in the Closet.”** From behind him this time. He spun around again. Two more eyes, white with beady purple pupils, opened in the void around him.

Then two more.

And three more.

And more.

And more.

**“Everything you were ever afraid of… we’re all here.”**

So many eyes, so many mouths, sliding open, encircling him, judging him, cackling greedily. A thousand voice, deep, high, and every pitch in between, all cackling at him, like a pack of melting hyenas.

Brainiac felt something warm trickle down his pant leg.

“ **And we’re all… so… _hungry…_ ”**

Brainiac’s stomach leapt into his throat as the entire world spun, his body tumbling over and over itself as he was flung through the darkness.

The eyes all slid together into the distance, the mouths circling and joining into one hideous, spiraling maw, cackling grotesquely, a bright purple glow shining from within.

Brainiac began to scream, long screams of horror and terror as he fell, down and down and down, toward that vortex of teeth, surrounded by so many eyes,

and in the center of them

those four eyes. Staring at him.

Two solid green.

Two solid purple.

The mouth enclosed around Brainiac, those horrible, gnashing teeth drawing ever closer as Brainiac took one last breath for one last horrible scream-

and landed roughly on the carpeted floor of McDuck Manor’s entrance hall.

The eyes were gone. The mouth was gone.

He lay there on the floor, moaning breathlessly as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. His everything hurt.

He didn’t register around him as Bouncer and his other three strung-up brothers dropped roughly to the floor, as Bolster’s eyes lost their yellow glow as sense returned to him, as the horned toad vanished in a puff of smoke, revealing a very startled Bogus Beagle, wearing nothing but his eye mask.

Bouncer was the first to recover, breaking the ropes tying him to his siblings with ease. “Brainiac! Wha’ happened?”

Brainiac made no sound in response. He lay on the carpeted floor, unmoving, his eyes staring beyond the ceiling. A low, keening whine emanated from his throat.

Bogus Beagle, who was making a very poor effort to cover his nude state, suddenly pointed up at the chandelier hanging over the entrance hall. “Fellas! _Look!”_

All eyes turned to follow Bogus’s pointing finger.

Four familiar eyes stared down at them from the darkness. Two green. Two purple.

All of the assembled Beagle Boys felt their hearts plummet into their stomachs.

The voice they had heard spoke once more.

“ **Leave. _Now_.” **

Burger immediately struggled to his feet. “ _Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope!!!”_ He scrambled for the front door, leaving his brothers in the dust. The others quickly picked themselves up and hightailed it for the exit.

At the door, the be-sewaged Baritone Beagle happened to look back, only to see Brainiac still lying still on the floor, still in shock. With a high-pitched moan, Baritone sprinted back to him, grabbed his elder brother around the wrists, and began to quickly drag him out. Brainiac was pulled easily, having very little strength of his own.

The collection of Beagle Boys scrambled down the hill, all pretenses of stealth long abandoned, boots clunking on the concrete beneath them. Seconds later, they had all crammed back into the garbage truck, and were roaring down the road away from McDuck Manor.

In the back, Bolster snapped his fingers rapidly. “Brainiac! Brainiac, can ya hear us?!”

Brainiac simply slumped in his seat, drooling on his own shirt. “T-t-t-t-teeeeeeeeeeeeth…” He slurred.

Bolster blinked several times. “Fellers, I think we broke Ma’s least-unfavorite son.”

~/~/~

The spool inside the grappling hook whirred as it unwound the cable. Dangling from the gun’s holster were two young ducks, both in their pajamas.

As they descended, Webby grinned up at her girlfriend, who was standing on Webby’s foot, their arms around each other. Through her night-vision goggles, Lena’s lovely face was stained a bright neon green. “That was super fun!”

Lena pumped her spare hand in the air. “Heck yeah, it was! I love getting a chance to scare the tar outta Beagle Boys.”

Webby grinned as her foot touched down on the carpeted floor. Her voice exaggeratedly posh: “We simply _must_ do this more often, Britannia.”

Lena cackled in a spiky cockney accent. “Aw, that’s true innit, Anglabeth?”

Webby clicked the trigger on the grapple gun, retracting the grappling gun with a muted _clunk_ as she slid the goggles off of her face _._ Glancing at the large brown sewage water stain soaking into the carpet, Lena snapped two fingers. The spill quickly shrank, the carpet’s normal colors restoring themselves.

Lena’s grin was interrupted by a yawn. She held her hand over her beak as Webby eased next to her, wrapping her arm around her waist. “C’mon, let’s head back upstairs.”

Lena nodded blearily. “Agreed.”

The two began to slowly trudge toward the stairs, arms around each other.

Lena rubbed her cheek against Webby’s soft hair, still ruffled with bedhead. “One day, Pink, we’re gonna have a normal sleepover.”

Webby chuckled, rustling her hair against Lena’s impossibly soft cheek feathers. “I wouldn’t have them any other way.”

They reached the door to Webby’s bedroom, silently easing it open and closed again. The two gently crept through the maze of sleeping bags, careful not to wake their friends. Webby smiled softly at Huey and Gosalyn, both asleep, hands clasped in the middle between their sleeping bags. Lena just barely caught herself before stepping on Boyd’s battery recharge pack, which trailed into his insulated sleeping bag.

None of them were the wiser of what had just happened.

Lena and Webby reached their sleeping bags (side by side, of course). Lena gently slid into it, already feeling the grasping fingers of sleep reaching to reclaim her now that they were lying down again.

Webby plopped down on top of her sleeping bag, snoring away within seconds. Lena placed her own arm on the floor, nestled against Webby’s, and smiled softly when Webby nudged herself closer mid-snore.

Lena glanced toward the door, snapping her fingers one last time. The burned-out nightlight in the corner suddenly sparked into a gentle, illuminating light, a pink spark orbiting a purple spark.

Lena sighed happily, snuggling deeper into her sleeping bag.

“G’night, Webby.”


End file.
